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 Post subject: Sandra Cisneros Essay
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 4:03 am 
revenant
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Hello everyone,

I would like your feedback on this essay:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Utm ... -5v5k/edit

Because you all are smart and funny and opinionated, you are now my go-to homework people (except this ain't homework). ^^
The prompt is "pick somebody to spend a day with and why." Word limit is 500.

Sincerely,
Grace

PS- yeah it doesn't really fit here



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 Post subject: Re: Sandra Cisneros Essay
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 8:35 am 
hell knight
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You should've wrote about Albert.


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 Post subject: Re: Sandra Cisneros Essay
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 10:21 am 
hell knight
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jozoz wrote:
You should've wrote about Albert.

I'm not a latino.


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 Post subject: Re: Sandra Cisneros Essay
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 4:11 pm 
The Department of Penis Thread Corrections
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Jesus Christ you spliced a comma, get the fuck out.

EDIT: Never mind, but it's still a badly-phrased sentence that you should feel bad about.



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 Post subject: Re: Sandra Cisneros Essay
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:09 pm 
supreme adder
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<insert real life example>


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 Post subject: Re: Sandra Cisneros Essay
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:43 am 
bran the barn owl
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Grace wrote:
Hello everyone,

I would like your feedback on this essay:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Utm ... -5v5k/edit

Because you all are smart and funny and opinionated, you are now my go-to homework people (except this ain't homework). ^^
The prompt is "pick somebody to spend a day with and why." Word limit is 500.

Sincerely,
Grace

PS- yeah it doesn't really fit here



I put this in the "FEEDBACK" thing but decided to post it here instead.

Do I think that highlighted comment ruins the flow? My answer: "somewhat but you could re-word it a bit, make that idea its own sentence and it could work."

Something that states what those things are and what they do, rather than just letting those examples float out there on their own. "Advertisements like the Axe effect blah blah create an environment of blah blah." If you see what I mean.



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 Post subject: Re: Sandra Cisneros Essay
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:09 pm 
revenant
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Thanks c:



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 Post subject: Re: Sandra Cisneros Essay
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 4:24 am 
revenant
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But alas, my hours were wasted. #teer



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